The Remarkable Gift of Suffering
I’ve come to recognize during any suffering I may be experiencing, what an actual privilege it is to suffer. An actual sweet and incredible blessing. Once recognized I am presently suffering in some shape or form (which sometimes comes easier than other times), I also realize it is a remarkable gift in the unique way that I am doing so. One that is only mine within such individual circumstances. And one that every ounce, centimeter, breath, and moment experienced has been leading to this very point of felt suffering.
And yet at the same time it is not one of isolation at all. Rather simultaneously connected to every creature, human, organism, strong wind, and small ripple in all existence. And how the gravity of this present feeling has somehow been someone else’s present feeling at one time. A billion times. For billions of others. Both throughout the past, and is in place for someone else’s future. Both are beyond what we can ever know.
I find such gratitude of knowing we are capable of such feelings. Such deep impactful waves and thoughts and stories and pain within ourselves. And how suffering is both the simple proof of this, and at the same time, reveals itself in its beyond complex role of clarifying our vast, and yet insignificant, roles that we play in this magical brilliant life.
In coming to understand this…I have no fear of suffering.
I can allow myself to trust its place. I can trust myself to fully fall surrender of any suffering by-products or devices that overtake or unearth themselves in this vessel that I currently possess. For the depth of these pits that claim nothing but suffering as their purposeful locations, are also the starting points to a beautiful ‘crawl out’ that shapes our spirit in new ways. New ways we couldn’t yet see before such darkness.
And when we are out of these depths and enjoying all the zest and thrills that life also offers, I will continue my bravery in not fearing the next time those caves find my shore.
I will remember the strength I gained in climbing out from the rocks onto the warm sand, to then see the world with newly adjusted eyes to all the light and beauty that has been shining entirely and consistently through my pause from its glow.
I will remember that without that swallowed hole of suffering, I’d never be able to appreciate such open wide spaces creating availability and opportunity for all other whole delights the Universe so generously graces us with.
And I will recall my time in this place, and exhale in relief to recognize my presence is not aligned with the memory now. I will reflect in gratitude for not only the ability to reflect on such a time spent, but dive even deeper with curiosity of all that I learned during that time. All that it brought me. Perhaps hidden gifts, that while in the dark I was unable to see.
And as if on a mystical walk along the water I were to find some treasure shells I choose to keep in my pocket forever; I will hold close to my heart these ideas.
That beyond learning from this suffering…
Beyond looking forward to the inevitable light that is to follow after this suffering…
I will most importantly remember the magnificent wholeness it takes as a being to even suffer in this extraordinary way.
What a remarkable gift indeed.
